A breath of fresh air

It’s Thursday today, sure wish I was in Paris already, because then I could wake up and just write for an hour, before I skedaddle to all the museums, cafes and breathe in the Parisian air.

I woke up today feeling so happy like a new chapter has begun, though nothing has really changed in my circumstances, at least not today. Maybe it’s because I saw a group of old friends last night. Maybe it’s because I had a macaron for breakfast, as I rushed to leave for work. Maybe it’s because I’m wearing contacts this morning, which makes me want to be a completely different person with a “new” set of eyes. Maybe it was because last night grounded me.

Lately, I’ve been reminded of this: Bad experiences are necessary evils. Strength is utterly important. Rising from the ashes, so to say, is inspirational.

This morning on the GO Train, I was thinking about what everyone said about the old lady. They could be right, and believe me, I’ve treaded on that possibility but I wanted to keep my hopes alive. Somewhere in my mind, I really think I could see her again. Somewhere in my mind, miracles are completely possible, rare but possible. Somewhere in my mind, making peace with myself is more important than the fact that I’m going there for the second time, despite it being an expensive city etc.

The first time allow for mistakes, the second time for redemption, the third time for forgivness. Let's hope by the time I come back, I won't have to repeat the second.

Heading out to St. Lawrence Market in a short while….have a spectacular day, everyone!

Tidbits

Random tidbits that happened or been happening in the last little while:

- My journal entries are getting longer and longer, more and more philosophical
- I love bookstores that are not like Indigo/Chapters due to intimacy
- I found this really cool art supplies store on Bloor St.
- after almost a year, I finally watched Dark Knight and it was really captivating
- Am loving fresh pastries lately, as long as they don't have too much sugar
- My shoes and book collections should be put on hold, if I want to venture anywhere into my life dreams
- I love mature and deep conversations with certain individuals
- Been listening to a lot of blues music, calming, serenading and soothing
- movies: starting to really like the indie and artsy films, so much more depth
- not as excited about Paris anymore which was completely what I was expecting. Pretty sure that will change when I'm on the plane.
- another small artsy trip in the works
- Holding off Vancouver, HK/Taiwan/China, Australia YET AGAIN (T, K, and CL - I know, I know haha)
- balanced friendships are the best kind. And the easiest
- surface level relationships are so damn boring and bland
- People around the same age or older than I am who are still throwing childlike tantrums should get some adult schooling
- people who have sex for that corporate ladder should fall harder in life
- I feel really sad for people who have to settle for someone who are so far from their ideal, perhaps because I'm always pitying one of the two.
- The little missteps in life really bugs someone like me who is too anxious and does not have much patience.
- Marriage is an institution, not a sacred bond. Thus, the desperation and the rush.
- Clingy people, UGH!!
- People need to be more spiritual than religious
- I have a deep grudge against people who have been spoon fed their whole life, resulting in their snobbery towards other people, yet envious that they have half their worries cut out for them as opposed to someone like me, always struggling
- people's true colors are quite frightening
- Had a really great afternoon at Edwards Gardens with one of my favorite people
- had the best fish and chips the other day
- perfect strolling weekends with great company
- lost 5 lbs within a month. It's been THAT stressful though I had a great support system. I have to gain it back so I can fit my shoes better.

This is too long haha.