Bitchin'

So I'm going to snitch
about a total bitch,
who harnesses the hitch,
to build a ditch.

What a witch,
Filled with quitch.
Ya know what she pitch?
A pail of glitch.

Haha, I thought of the first two lines on the subway because I couldn't sleep and I was starting to resent people and their obscurity. Besides, I was listening to several of Jay Chow's albums which inspired me to pencil in my own thoughts. Came home and just had to finish it so I can possibly find the humor in all of this.

Inability

I love driving really late at night sometimes. It's really calm, soothing and beautiful. When I parked the car on the driveway at home, I looked up the clear night sky and saw all these stars. It was breathtaking.

Sadly, the stars reminded of everything that one night. That one night when what I believed for three years of my life, was replaced with disappointment and betrayal. I remember thinking how history repeated itself, how I had an intuition of what was to come and I trusted my feelings but I still didn't want to sever ties right away. I remember getting out of the car because I was overwhelmed with anger, and I ran out onto the street. There was a moment in that anger when I looked up at the night sky and thought, what a beautiful night it was, and what a dichotomy my heart was in.

It's really odd that most of the time, this scene doesn't usually replay in my head but seeing stars tonight really sparked those thoughts again.

Post cards

I absolutely love post cards! When Matt sent me a post card from England, I was so surprised because I didn't ask for one from him. When Eugene sent me a post card from Hong Kong, it put a smile on my face for two days! When Julien sent me a post card from Galapagos, I was honored. When Mark sent me a post card from HK, I was ecstatic even though he was forced to, in place of a souvenir haha.

I love letters. Something about a person's hand writing just makes me feel irritably good.

Maze

This year, I pondered on something that I otherwise conveniently ignore: destiny and God. It's really not a secret that I'm a really non-religious person so I suppose you'd think this little entry is a bit out of place.

Anyway, carrying on: I keep thinking that maybe God really does have a set design for me. The realistic side of me would argue, "No, you idiot. You reap what you sow." But then if I reap what I sow, then I'd turn out to have a very messy life. Obviously this is not true since I think I live a very ideal life.

If a certain childhood incident didn't happen, then I wouldn't learn how to be compassionate. If my parents didn't have the restaurant, then I wouldn't learn how to socialize with people from different walks of life. If my academic career wasn't nearly put on hold, I wouldn't have learned the joy of learning. If I didn't blindly learn to love Gavin, I wouldn't have learned how to properly love Ly. And if Ly didn't leave in a bad style, I wouldn't have learned just how much the value of family and friendship were. And if I didn't learn the value of family and friendships, then I wouldn't have realized just how much a miracle God had granted me.

And if I didn't read some stranger's words tonight, I wouldn't have realized just how all of this (nonsensical words, you may say) rings so true. So maybe, just maybe, all this walking and running in my life, is all a part of God's plan for me to achieve something. Though if you ask me, I think I have achieved quite a bit immaterially; I mean how else could I be so happy with life right now?

Blah-bergasted

You know how some days you write for the sake of writing and not because you want to write? I've been feeling like that lately. I feel blah, which is why I don't really get into a chatty mood and ultimately, it affects my writing.

Between the conversation last night with one friend and another conversation today with another friend, I feel like they're feeling a lot of the stuff I used to feel. So, in a way, I'm walking through those feelings again while listening to them. Can't really help it.

In a nutshell, this is what I feel every day, at random moments of the day: sad, annoyed, happy, motivated, strong, angry and grateful.

I think most of you know that I'm not a big fan of furry toys, but I do like the feel of a dog's fur haha. Anyway, I really want a dog - preferably a German Shepherd or a Golden Retriever. I want it so badly. This want is ever growing.

I saw the eclipse the other night from my sister's room. It reminded me of the time when me, Lau and Gene went to Aurora to look at stars. I miss them. I miss their physical presence, especially when we all huddle in a car and talk till 5 AM.

I have to say goodbye to August before I start studying for my designation exam in September.

Lousy update

Allo everyone,

I apologize for not updating this blog quite as often as I used to. [Or calling you three in HK/Taiwan] Read on and you'll see why, though I have to warn you, this entry will be scattered because my thoughts are haha :P

Thank you to some of you for your e-mails. I am doing good. Much better anyway.

Things have been rough and calm all at the same time. I think my best friend said it best: "...you're dealing with past wounds again..." That's exactly what it is: past wounds. Forgiveness is not in my character, but neither is running away, at least I don't think so haha. The context of these past wounds mainly circle around friendships and personal shortcomings. Just the stuff I've been dealing with for the past few years, ya know?

By day, I am energetic/perky because my job requires me to be very busy and tense. Then I crash on the train on my way home. By the time I finish my dinner, you can usually catch me either reading, watching "So you think you can dance", writing senseless poetry and thoughts, drawing, listening to the Delilah radio show or dancing (uh, exercising) in the little corner of my room haha. Usually after reading a book, I end up being very emotional. Can't help it. Some of the books are written so well. I've neglected a lot of the things I'm supposed to do, but I get caught up with my books that I can't quite part with them. Just in the last month, I've already read 6 books. My boss, Julien, even gave me a book for a present! And hopefully, the next 9 books will arrive by next week. Ha, this explains why I'm hardly on MSN. Or I would leave it on but step away.

This summer's been very good to me. I've been seeing the same set of friends every weekend and lunches for the past 3 months. I've been spending way too many lunches in some of the restaurants on Queen Street with Valerie. Some of the things we've been doing on the weekends are touring around Toronto's cultural neighborhoods and parks, The Taste of Danforth, karaoke, shopping, Luminato, ROM, Taste of Asia, picnic, tons (I mean tons!) of movies, BBQs, beach and lots of mahjong, poker gathering etc. I'm itching to go fishing again. Think I'm going to give ice fishing a try! I've pretty much made up my mind to go to Vancouver in October for a week by myself. Hong Kong will have to be next year. Hopefully, I'll fit in Australia too. I regret not taking a proper vacation before I started full time, which was two months ago. I need a day to just relax my mind, which is quite hard for me! Someone once tried teaching me meditation so I can learn to relax, but I end up laughing at my thought patterns. [I can already hear Mark holding a stifled laugh and saying "crazy Jenn" here.]

I think the best part of this summer was having dinner with my 3 siblings in downtown and shopping together. And the family celebratory BBQs in the backyard. The most scary part was what happened couple weeks back. But alas, everything is okay now. Thank God! Other than that, I can see my parents really aging too, which is a very emotional thing for me because

The house has been busy too! During the beginning of the year, all 3 bathrooms were renovated, along with the porch, and installed a new air conditioner. Now, we have the driveway paved, front entrance interlocked, painted the basement. Not only has it been busy but it's been receiving some gifts, some of which are still coming!

I think that's all the update I can think of. Hope you are all well too. By the way, I love personal letters/e-mails, so you can keep them coming :) Oh and I love the postcard! You can keep 'em coming too! haha.

And now, back to reading some documents and researching. Ugh! I've been pulling some very late nights for the last three days and then going to work whole day! Oh, and I've been giving up on my coffee habit too on account of my headaches. Say hello to your new chrysanthemum tea lover! :)

All the best.

Cheers,
JQ

Fleeting Emotions

A PAIR OF FLEETING WINGS

Longing for the pair of wings
Away from the indescribable sorrow
A painless freedom
To be swept away with one just swift.

The unawakened times
compounded with chances
never taken just as it walks by
Blind to me just as I find.

Limited Boundaries known to me
The hole that swallowed me
wanting to escape before I step an extra mile deep
A pair of wings to flee with me.

--- I've been clearing up my e-mail inbox for two nights in a row now and still nowhere done. I found a lot of junk, a lot of unfinished/canceled plans and a lot of jokes. Among the pile, I found some of my most precious treasures: letters from friends and lovers, be it from words of encouragement and love, their traveling euphoria, or their personal struggles.

I read over and over every single word they wrote, cried/laughed and read it all over till I was blue in the face. I tried to decipher their pattern of thinking, catch what they were portraying and understand their vulnerable moments. Because that's what happens when you write to someone, you not only put your emotions on the line, but you put them into words; words that bear witness to what you feel or once felt. I think words are fruitful to our emotions.

Some of the most beautiful letters are not that it contains distinct vocabulary, but how well their thoughts and emotions are captured in their choice of words. I envy them for writing so beautifully and daring to expose themselves. So I commend to you for writing to me, for trusting me with your words, for sharing a speck of your world with me.

Thank you. May you live on and mark your hearts into words.

Ice Cream

I hate hearing the ice cream truck! Because every time I look out the window to see where it is, it's nowhere in sight!!! Then I get tempted.

Vying for one man - Ch. 1

Ch. 1 – Surprise up their sleeve

“Jake, somebody mailed you a letter, son! Come down and get it. I have to go soon.” Tess shouted out and began to get ready for her dance lessons.

As Jake came down the stairs, he thought to himself, Wow! Somebody sent me a letter! And it’s not even bills either. Who could it be?

He picked up the letter from the bench by the front door and checked the back of the envelope. Hmm, this is weird. Why would Lynn send me a letter? She can just call me. With much enthusiasm, he pried the envelope with his bare hands.

Dear Jake,

I didn’t know how to tell you this because I’m sure we didn’t expect this from our get together a month ago. I am pregnant. I have taken up every pregnancy test from the drugstore counters, and even went to the doctor two days ago. They all say one thing: I’m pregnant. I can’t fathom how this could have happened even though we used protection that night we shared. I don’t know how to deal with this: should I go ahead and have the child and be a single mother or have an abortion and continue on with my life? Do you think we can talk about this together and soon?

Yours truly,

Lynn

He couldn’t stand still after reading that letter and had to hold onto the stair railings to steady his balance. This is so messed up. How could this have happened? What do I do? It was supposed to be casual. How can this be? What do I tell her? I need to sit down.

Paul was going to his room upstairs when he saw the color drained from his brother’s face. “What’s wrong? Something happened?”

Jake replied, “Oh, it’s nothing. Just surprised a friend sent me a handwritten letter.”

That night, Jake thought of calling Lynn, who he had been friends with since high school. He thought of that night when they went to a bar together because they were both feeling down from the routine lifestyle and not meeting anybody they could connect with. Tired of being cancelled by their other friends, they decided to go together. Maybe it was the alcohol in their system, maybe it was the tiresome loneliness, but the laughs soon turned to small kisses and then escalated to their passionate rhythmic humping in his room. He thought of how their strong friendship had led them to confide in each other their problems and the ensuing drama in their own lives over the years. But a baby between them now? His baby growing inside her? He thought of the changes this baby is going to bring to both their lives. Maybe she will decide to have an abortion instead, he thought to himself.

The next morning, Jake pressed the numbers to her mobile, cautiously and ever so slowly, as if each number that was dialed would spark a bomb to detonate. While waiting for her to pick up the phone, he thought about giving up and just ignore her letter.

“Hello?” Lynn picked up on the third ring.

“Uh hi. It’s Jake.”

“I know.”

Oh right. Call display. “Um, I got your letter that you mailed to my house. How are you feeling?”

“Nauseous and dizzy at random times during the day.”

She does sound really tired, he thought. “Are you strong enough to talk on the phone? I can come over if you want.”

“Could you? It’s probably better to talk in person.”

“Yeah, I’ll be over in 15 minutes.”

He put on his brown T-shirt and the dark faded jeans and proceeded to drive over to her house, which was just 3 blocks away. He had contemplated about walking to her house, so he can think of what to say along the way. But with the heat and the smog that was present in Toronto for the last few days, he decided to drive and escape the humidity.

He rang her doorbell, wishing to drive back home. But before he could, Michelle opened the front door, with Rudy greeting Jake with a bark.

“Hi Jake.” Lynn’s mom, Michelle, greeted with a smile.

“Hi Auntie. Sorry to bother you, but I’m just looking for Lynn.”

Sensing the weariness in his voice, she wanted to ask him how he was doing but thought better to leave him be. Instead, she said, “Oh she’s up in her room. She’s been awfully sick lately. I’m sure seeing a friend will brighten her up.”

Yeah, sick because of me. “Okay, thanks Auntie.”

He went up the stairs to her room as he had often gone to talk and play the new video games they discovered. He opened the door and found her sitting on her computer chair, her eyes shut, and her face looked pale.

“Hi.”

“Jake! Hey, I didn’t hear you ring the doorbell.”

“Yeah, your mom let me in. Are you okay? You don’t look too good.”

“Yeah. I haven’t been eating or sleeping well. I’m not sure if it’s the stress on the body or the stress on my mind.”

“So, what should we do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think we should tell our parents or hide it from them?”

What??!! How can I possibly hide my stomach and the baby?! “Um, they’re going to find out eventually when I start showing and I hardly have any bulky clothes.”

“Oh!” Jake didn’t quite know what to say. Or do, for that matter. “Maybe we should tell our parents what happened then. But no matter what, I will support whatever decision you decide to make.”

“I don’t know if I can go through with the abortion. It’s too cruel. I don’t think I can go through killing somebody that’s growing inside me.” Lynn could feel her eyes starting to well up.

“Then we’ll have this baby.”

“Yeah.” Lynn replied back but not sure if it was what she really wanted.

“Maybe we should talk to our parents about this.” Jake said, sounding equally unsure of what was coming out of his mouth.

“I’m scared of what they’re going to say and what they’ll think.”

“Me too. But I just want you to know I’m going to be responsible. I won’t leave you to handle this alone. So you can trust me and count on me, okay?”

She couldn’t hold her tears anymore and let them roll down her cheeks. He held her and they talked some more about what the baby would mean for them, how it would affect their lives and the responsibilities that were in store for them. He watched her cry herself to sleep and then let himself out of her house. It will be a very long road, he thought to himself.

Stress and Aging

Unlike most of my friends, I have never ever had a strand of white hair. It's almost like I'm uncool, not stressed enough or not old enough. Not to mention that people say I have the blackest hair they've ever seen, and they say I shouldn't color it because my color is nice.

So here I am, reluctantly wanting a hair color change, badly wanting a small tattoo either on the back of my waist line or on my left shoulder and very smitten with somebody.

Crushes are fun, until it gets really strong and then I have to do something about it; which means I'm doomed for rejection haha.

All up to this moment

So I'm going to do it. I'm going to sever the absolute last knot that ever tied us together. I've realized that sometimes things happen in life for a reason. Some of life's lessons can shake us up so much that we remember it more, and should the chance come up again, we'll realize that we can't make the same mistakes.

All my adversities have been worth it. Every single drop of tear, every single piece of the heart that shattered, and every grinding of the sweat have all been worth it. Because in a few days, I will be graduating. It's not much to some people but it means a lot to me because there were a lot of things in my life that I had to face while working for this degree. I'm sure a few others had to go through this stage as well.

Once upon a time, getting this degree was as much of your dream as it was mine. Because it meant us starting a new journey together, going on that cruise as a graduation present, going to HK and Australia together, and all the things we had compromised to suffice the meaning of us.

Now that this "dream" does not hold true anymore, I can do all the things I would have otherwise done: be there for family and friends, help them in any way possible, and do something for myself and myself only. Like dancing, like being given a chance to be completely independent and buying a place by myself, like being silly without being asked to act properly etc.

Now I can truly start. Monetarily broke but very happy.

Pre-Montreal

Ha, I have a couple hours to go before I go on this road trip to Montreal. As fun as it sounds, I can't help but feel a bit down. I just feel like this was a very tumultuous year, many ups and many downs, all pooled in together. I heard a love story today. I'm very happy that she's found it. I'm sure it's been a very long and hard journey for her and I hope she's found that dream she's wanted.
A part of me wants to be saved but the other part of me knows it's up to me. Not just romantically, but career wise. I honestly feel so numb and disappointed at the same time, in myself mostly. I hate giving up a part of who I am as a person and mould to all the stereotypes I should be. I'm really stubborn that way.

And now the one person I can share everything and be completely open to is going on a very long vacation. So that means he won't be as readily available, by phone or in person. I'm going to miss my best friend.

Every cloud has a silver lining

I had my moment of silver lining yesterday, when I was on my way to a baseball game. I've been really happy for the past few days, on account of having great family and meaningful friendships; but yesterday's phone call topped it for me. I was superbly happy that I was about to hug anyone at the Union Station, and skip the rest of the way to Rogers Centre. It's a good thing my friend Mark was there to share the whole thing.

I'm one of those people who don't like to contain her emotions, I tend to express them because I find it stifling to not let it out. Anyway, it sucks that I care about how I present myself in a community full of strangers, and in my business-casual outfit nonetheless; otherwise I would have been a great hopper haha, with a huge grin on my face.

On an unrelated note, I am going to finally see a good friend of mine, who's back from her vacation. I haven't seen her since her engagement party, so there's a lot of catching up between the two of us. And she's going to cook for me haha. I'm not sure about other people but I love it when people cook for me, or cook with me. There's a lot of fun and teamwork that's involved with preparing a meal together. It's also really romantic, when a guy cooks for me. Even better if a guy learns to cook FOR me. (Now venturing into day-dreaming land haha)

Mysterical "Forever"

I'm not sure about other people but I, for one, had really thought "forever and ever" exists, rare but exists nonetheless. I'm not saying the non-existence of "Forever" out of experience, or being cynical etc., because most of you know I'm really not the cynical type. In fact, I'm a complete hopeless romantic. Anyway....

Most people like to make vows and promises during the relationship, or before it starts but almost never get to keep it. Why do people get caught up in the moment and make all these promises when they themselves are not even entirely sure they will carry it through?

In the little corner of my world, "forever" doesn't really exist. I've seen too many great relationships break off, many marriages faulted because of adultery or lies. Why do we keep hoping "forever" happens to us? Why do *I* keep hoping it exists when I'm almost positive it doesn't? Why do I think I'm an exception to this rarity? (See the hopeless romantic thoughts? haha)

This is really why I had my 13-year plan. It's not realistic but the principle behind it is.

TTC

I found myself yesterday morning in an unfortunate situation. Before leaving home, I had not heard about the TTC accident so when I heard that we had to take shuttle buses from York Mills to Eglinton station, I thought yikes! I didn't really have a problem with being late etc. Cuz I thought "yay! anything to avoid taxes and accountants". BUT almost 90% of these adults panicked. Some of them went up to cars and ask for rides. Some of the drivers were really nice to offer people rides but of course what do the TTC passengers do? They push and shove until they're in the car. Almost all these people blocked the roads, preventing anyone from driving. People were just acting like savages. Once the shuttle bus comes, everybody just push and snatch each other's bags so to prevent them from boarding.

Of course, it didn't help that there were no TTC employees directing the passengers, where to go etc. Only directed them underground, but no body on the street level. Everybody was exacerbated with each other's attitude.

Anyway, I had heard later that there was an industrial accident which people didn't really hear about, I suppose. I think that in crises like this, it's just better to take a laid-back attitude. So what I did was listen to my MP3 player and take some pictures from my phone. I was trying to be oblivious to people's frustrations about being inconvenient.

I will never get why people get like this just because they're being inconvenienced for a bit. It's not like this happens everyday. I wish the only victim of this whole tragedy rests in peace and that his family is blessed with God's presence.

The park life

I had the best weekend. I jogged two days in a row, badminton, did karaoke, had so many great/quality conversations with some friends. And the best part was I got some good sunlight.

As I was jogging in my neighborhood park, a lot of memories did surface. At one point, I even sat down and tried to just relish in that moment. I didn't feel burdened with the memories I had over there with both of them. I think many times in our lives, when we let go of the emotions that we've burdened ourselves with, we suddenly see a whole new side to ourselves. That's what I saw, a very strong and happy me. And a lot of dichotomies in my memories, haha.

I remember going there when I was contemplating about breaking off my relationship with the first one, and when we went for fireworks. I remember going there to just talk and walk around with the second one, and sitting there at night when I was miserable in the relationship. I remember going there to bike with my best friend and just talk. Or having a lot of biking races with my siblings. There's so much memories in that park.

When I walked past it this evening, I saw all the families together on the playground or walking together. And I thought to myself, I wished more families were this way. Sitting or walking together, in silence or heavy in conversations. There just doesn't seem to be any time for families to be together, which is too bad.

Everything like new

Edit: I had lunch with my whole family. Most of you guys already know this: dinners are rare in my house, but lunch together with everyone is even more rare. I'm super happy now :)

Heartbreak is such a small issue, compared to the other things that I've lived through haha. This is just me though because I don't think everyone deals with this sort of the stuff the same way.

I don't know if it's new revelations about life, or I'm just feeling better but this unexplained feeling makes me happy. I was so happy that I was skipping all the way home from the bus stop. This was night time so I don't think anybody caught my weird act. But who cares? I was in my plain clothes and not my business outfits. Then when I went home, I looked at the washroom mirror and made a goofy face at myself and that got me laughing at how weird I am. Until a mini incident which I kind of shared with Carl on MSN but he fell asleep on me haha. He woke up with a stiff neck apparently. (Ahem, serves him right haha)

Had an exam yesterday which went alright, considering we had a fire alarm mid-way and the professor told us to continue on because it was a "small incident" haha.

As of right now, I'm feeling groggy because I woke up in the middle of REM. I got up around 4:30 - 5 AM just to write this dream down. I'm just glad it's not my usual dreams which I've shared with 3 of you, I think.

I need a hug

Can someone just hold me until it all goes away? Everything's too soon, way too soon. It doesn't even make sense to me.

Merry go round

I am deliriously happy, deliriously smitten and deliriously energetic. And I'm really stressed.

Must be the coffee.

I can just see the expressions on most of your faces like I've gone lunatic but I wanted to share this: I feel like I can conquer every stubble that I come across in life, that I love my family and can't bear to be without them, that I love my insane friends who I'm never on the same page with, and I love every challenge that presents itself to me.

I hope that anyone who reads this will find a way to live their challenging and dramatic life, to be strong and unbroken when their hearts break endless number of times, to be happy, to break the expectations and stigma associated with them and soar to where their hearts want to go.

Okay, okay! I'll stop being so sappy now and go back to writing my 2nd of 4 essays, all of which are due on April 9th. :)

Acupuncture

My mom made ginseng with black chicken soup (doesn't look as bad as the previous post lol), and since she knew I haven't had much energy, she gave me a little more than normal amount of ginseng. I ate everything obediently. Couple hours later, I went to sleep for an hour but had to get up because I was just itchy and red all over. Then I broke out in hives and was swelling everywhere, except my face. I was just inches away from going to Emergency.

I thought I'd just wait it out by drinking more water, but the itch and the swelling really got to me. So I had to wake my parents up because I didn't know what to do. I've only broken out in hives once, during first year university, right before Psychology exam. So, my dad made me drink a lot of hot water, to thin out whatever was in my blood, and did acupuncture.

My co-worker suggested I take Benadryl but because the swelling wasn't going at such a high rate as before, I thought I'd refrain and drink more hot water. Fast forward 12 hours later, I am not swelling up as much, still itchy and about to start another essay.

Needless to say, my dad's acupuncture skills saved me.

I was just thinking, I had read my horoscope forecast for this year, and it was saying how I was going to have a very bad year. Well, it was really accurate. I can't wait for May to begin because I just know my luck's going to turn around haha.

Ready to move

I let my emotions catch up to me today, something I have been trying to hold back for awhile. I'm so caught up with trying to make it through my last semester of full time course loads of school, trying to establish myself in a career that I've grown to love, while mending my heart, and dealing with your news.

I've been trying to make sense of everything that's happened this year. I know I have to go through all of this so I can be stronger, but will it be in vain? I don't want to be one who goes through the rest of life feeling jaded, feeling like I have to protect myself a bit more and be prepared for more turning of events. I've seen too many friends who have turned out to be that way, jaded and eventually unable to love again.

I want you to remember me, and remember me well, as the girl who had loved you when you weren't "successful", when you first discovered your passion, and when you were going through endless of the bottom pit that life threw at you.

I know you'd never realize the kind of impact you had made into my life, or how much you had meant to me, or how much our love couldn't get us through everything like we had hoped for. But I want you to remember me, to thoroughly remember me, for my heart and for my love.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye for the longest time but I am now. I realize now that we weren't meant to be. I'm going to move on not because I have to, but because I don't want to walk the less joyous path of life. I refuse to sit and be mesmerized by the memories, or have taunting dreams about you, or remember the three happy years that got tainted towards the end. The only choice I have for myself is to be happy and that's all I'm going to choose.

Thank you and may you be happy.

Dating

You know what bugs me? When I'm out on a date, there is nothing interesting to talk about. But you know what's worse? EVEN if you're in a relationship, there is nothing to talk about because the company gets too comfortable.

I wish I would be on a date that is really interesting, where the conversations can spark both our minds. Instead of "oh, the food's good". That just prompts me for one kind of response. Haha, if I try and start up a conversation, the other person doesn't know how to carry it.

I was on this date before and all the guy can do is talk about sports and cars. I mean, sure those are not the kinds of topics I know much or anything about, but isn't there much more than just sports and cars? It's really quite boring and so very typical. I mean, isn't there anything else that moves you?

I think meeting a guy who has a lot to say and speaks with stride, and gentlemanly is sexy. Nothing like that kind of mind that I wouldn't love to meet. But then again, I've been known to expect too much out of a guy's mind, especially for a first date. And talking about current events, debating about politics is probably too boring? haha.

What do you talk about anyway on first dates? I've been on a few dates before but I've already known them for a bit before scouting out the date routine. And I'm really only very good with relationships, just not dating haha.

Mom and Soup

Tonight, my mom wanted me to call the bank, and being moody as I am due to lack of sleep for two nights in a row (actually I only had 2 hour sleep last night) and more papers, I got annoyed at her and kind of shoo-ed her out of my room. It's just a matter of bad timing on her part that she asked me to look at more paperwork for the restaurant at 12:30 AM when I'm already running without sleep, and have 3 term papers to write before April 9th.

Anyway, my mom makes soup for about 4 nights of the week and we have to consume it. By the way, my mom's idea of soup is having a lot of ingredients in it, but less of the water itself. Tonight was just one of those nights and it was no different, except she asked my dad to bring it up. Haha, she guilt-tripped me with a bowl of soup because she knew I would eventually feel bad for shoo-ing her out of my room. Even though I should have told her I couldn't be bothered with more paperwork.

I don't even like black chicken soup haha. For the longest time, I was convinced my mom was the only one who made chicken soup until, my ex's mom made a lot of the same soup too. I don't mind if it's just the chicken itself with ginger, but nope, my mom decides to color it with dried fruits, dried worms and I don't even know what the other things are anymore.

*Edit* - So, I apologized to my mom and guess what? She lectured me about how a bowl of black chicken soup is really good for the skin, and the kneecaps etc. Moms....haha

Un petit changement

Hi Everybody!

Hope you all got a chance to either walk or jog around your neighborhood today, what with the splendid weather and all. I felt so refreshed from mine haha.

If you're wondering why the change of blog again, it's mainly because I didn't like the name, "hopeful-days" on the other blog anymore. It just sounded tacky haha. I'm just not good with coming up these "cool" blog names, for some reason.

This site's name, "allaboutjq" was actually suggested by Eric, because apparently I have a "cool" last name. So, thanks Eric! All the other links to your websites will be added probably next month when I work on the layout of this page.

Oh and for those of you who have heard about my dilemma of moving out of Toronto, I have decided to stay here, afterall. Calgary was an obvious choice at first because of the booming industry, but it would have been really hard to find a place to live since their supply of houses are not nearly meeting the demands of all the people who are moving into their city. Vancouver was the second choice but I don't think I would have fit in quite well with their laid-back lifestyle, since I've always been a city girl. My last two choices were New York and Boston, which would have been exciting but then I would have to get accustomed to how their financial industry works. So, I am kind of stuck here haha.

Anyway, moving on...I wrote something during my break earlier at school in the attempts of trying to stay awake haha. I am too lazy to type it again. So I hope you can read the handwriting. I almost don't print anymore unless I have to send my lecture notes to the Note Taking thing at school. (It's a volunteer thing, for those of you who don't go to UTSC.)