WoW

(I'm writing off the top of my head right now, not doing any editing cuz I have a headache from all the excitement....)

I first heard about World of War through Leo J, and I knew lots of guys played it. I suspect Fiona played it too. I was never into any games (besides board games) for many reasons: one, I'm not good at it; two, I don't have time for it especially when I was working at the restaurant and in school; three, I just didn't have the habit.

My main reason of getting into games this year was because I needed to change, needed to improve. I guess my close friends can attest that I've changed a lot this year, and trying something "new" like playing video games or PC games was a challenge that I needed to overcome, to prove to myself that I'm good at something, some game etc.

Besides Yahoo Towers, I was hooked onto Pokemon Blue (DS version) for awhile but when I finished all my levels, I didn't really find another game that truly appealed to me. I tried Company of Heroes for a bit and although it's a good game, it's really very different. The graphics are more testosterone-influenced (if that makes sense), and the strategy involved is quite different (that is to say, it's difficult) haha.

Out of curiosity and cuz it's readily available, I tried World of War. I don't know which version it is, but I love the game!! The graphics are gentle enough that I can understand where I am, everything is easy to navigate, and there are quite a bit of cool words in it.

The problem with me and games or me with anything is that I get easily addicted to things that appeal to me. Not healthy addictions either. As of right now, my thoughts are kind of scrambled because I'm trying to think of a way to fit in WoW to my schedule. My routine week schedule would be to work, then come home and read/chores/see friends until it's time to sleep. My weekend schedule consists of sleeping in and seeing my friends with very little studying. Now that I somehow sneaked WoW into my life, I want to throw away the reading, leave my studying behind, not go out and play WoW....

Little things like this makes me look forward to life. It will slowly alienate me from things that truly matter in my life haha unless I find a way to really control myself.

Anyways, this is such a shabby entry....sorry! (But I at least updated my blog, Ems and Herm!!)

Year 2008 Resolutions

There is no finite number to this list, I'm just listing my goals really.

1. Finish my CSC, and enroll for CPH.
   
2. Learn more about my family and friends, their interests, etc.
   
3. Improve myself, who I am as a person and work on my career goals.
   
4. Play more sports, namely commit to badminton every Sunday and jogging during spring and summer.
   
5. Work on my stories, namely finish my "Vying for one man" and "Falling for an Angel"
6. Take up photography and get a digital SLR. I need a second creativity outlet because writing is not enough sometimes
7. Do more research on cars and/or condominiums. Maybe get a car.
   
8. Make plans for traveling
9. Play the piano and maybe invest in a clarinet and relearn it.
   

So close..yet so far

I have a lot of things I'd like to talk about but I just have a hard time writing them out these days. They all have to do with my inner struggles, my constant need to improve myself or change myself. So the title which Ems, Mark, and Herm helped me thought of during dinner is suiting.

One winter day, before I went to New York, I remembered feeling a lot of insecurities and I talked them out with Mark, hoping he could shed another light or perspective on them, like he so often does. Out of that hour long conversation, one of the things I remembered was him asking, "Why are you thinking short term, you've always been thinking long term."

That's the thing, precisely what threw me off at my life game. I have been working and planning towards long term goals for the longest time that I failed to see anything that's in front of me. After some lessons last year, I realized all my long term goals were thrown off the map, so to say. I no longer really know what I want out of life, out of my friendships and relationships with people, and going in without expectations is a very scary thing for me to thread. Some days, it feels good to not expect anything; some days, I feel like living without expectations feels so bland and empty.

Sorry, this is a bad entry after not writing for so long, but I needed to write down my thoughts. I can't hold onto them for too long. I've been thinking about them since Cuba haha.